I often wonder, does everything happen for a reason or are there just a lot of coincidences in life? Are we meant to come across certain people, places and situations in life, or do we make our own lives without this unseen ‘force’?
Well obviously, I only have my opinions; no absolute answers that can explain some of the unknown that we all think about throughout our lives.
Part of me does believe that everything happens for a reason. But I wonder, is this belief something that only offers comfort to me and others? Do I want to believe this is true, because it offers some kind of explanation for the horrible times I’ve had?
Every decision we make on a daily basis, affects every minute of your future. How many of us have thought, or said aloud “if I’d been a few seconds/minutes earlier/later then a, b & c may be different”. This kind of thinking can really mess with your head at times. During some of my darkest times, when depression had a huge hold on me, I could (and did) use this way of thinking to blame myself for things that I had no control over.
I always remember one icy morning, a lady I’d met a few weeks prior, slipped as she stopped to cross the road. Unfortunately, the fall on the ice took her right into the road, into the path of an oncoming bus, which had no time to react. Tragically, she died at the scene. I managed to take some reaponsibility for this freak accident. If only I’d spoken to her a minute longer when I met her, then she may not have slipped on the ice that day, because the ripple effects of a different interaction with me that day might have meant a totally different outcome. Of course I know now that if we thought like that, we’d all be taking responsibility for things that aren’t in our control. If I took partial reaponsibility having met this lady weeks earlier, then did that mean every other person who’d spoken to or seen leading up to her death also had some responsibility? Of course not; because for 1, nobody knew this accident would happen and 2, nobody can prove or disprove my theory that had her experiences been different she wouldn’t have been in that place at that time the day she died.
So where does that leave us? Just as confused as before, if not more confused, I’m guessing. I have no idea if I am exactly where I’m ‘meant’ to be; or if I’m even ‘meant’ to be anywhere. I have no idea if I was ‘meant’ to meet the people I have met throughout my life, or if I’ve just been lucky to have met so many lovely people.
I don’t know if I can ever say that things were meant to happen for me to become the person I am today, because I don’t believe that anybody is meant to suffer. I agree that I am who I am today because of my experiences though. My experiences in life so far have helped shape my views, beliefs and opinions. Just like your experiences help shape your own sense of self and view of the world. But life isn’t all about experience. Life is about what you want it to be about. Your own mind can be your greatest barrier. But use it right, and it can become your most powerful tool. If there’s something you don’t like, or are unhappy with, there’s always a way around it. Don’t allow your mind to tell you otherwise.
I’ve realised it’s good to think, and question these mysteries in life. But it’s not always healthy to over think and over analyse. Whether something is meant to be or not doesn’t really matter to me anymore. The fact is, it is! So I’m busy enjoying what is now, rather than asking questions that have no definite answers.