The last couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for me for a variety of reasons. I think the main reason is just how tired, fatigued, and sore and in-pain I am recently. These things, quite naturally, reduce my emotional threshold or tolerance to any fucker that blinks at me.
Now before we go any further, I’d like to just touch on my language. I’ve said this so many times; I literally write what comes into my head. And I typed ‘fucker’ and then deleted it and spent/wasted at least 5 minutes (felt like hours) trying alternatives. They were so shit that I went back to the original ‘f’ word. On a more serious note, the main reason I keep offensive (they are to some people) words in is because when I read it back to myself I get a real sense of strong emotion.. and I hope that sometimes happens when you read my blog. Trust me, I swear much more than this every day… just in the right company (my own).
Now that’s sorted I’ll have to read back because I have no idea what I was going on about.
Back; people and tolerating them. Only, if I’d said that to a therapist they may rephrase the term more to something like “YOU… and tolerating your own feelings”. That’s just one possibility of course. Though it’s one I’d like to look into; it has obviously surfaced now for a reason.
I have to admit, my emotions have been a little more difficult to tolerate in the last week or so. More so since Monday’s awful bomb attack in Manchester 🎗🎗🎗 because of the things I’ve read or things that I’ve seen on tv. My emotional-sink was getting full. Once full, the emotions; just like water from a sink, will overflow uncontrollably. In order to stop overflow, you must keep your emotional sink empty. As mentioned earlier, thanks to the fatigue and pain worsening alongside my memory. So anything on tv or in papers or on facebook I’ve tried to avoid because I know I would just cry. Obviously the avoidance is an issue; only just seen that and realised… meaning I can look at it to try and work on it.
Long story shortened as much as possible; I had a good cry yesterday and it only went and emptied my frikkin sink a lot.
Enter: kick-ass attitude
On a final note my beautiful fiancé Bex and my fabulous big sister Rach are running the half marathon tomorrow to raise funds for DOGS 4 RESCUE and THE ALZHEIMERS SOCIETY. I want to wish them the best of luck and know they’ll both do fab! So proud of you both. If anyone wants to sponsor them;
Rach: The Alzheimers Society